Looking for: a Wardrobe
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: Thief outfit? What Thief outfit? (Yet another cracky trash fic.)


Summary: Thief outfit? What Thief outfit?

 _Note: Hi, who wants some trashy self-indulgent fic that's just about the clothes? I did this to stop thinking about my finals._

 _Alt. title: "Wardrobe Roulette Ver 2.0"_

 **Warnings: At Least 10% Of This Fic Is The Word 'Outfit', PT In Various Costumes, I Wrote This Just For The Pretty, 1.5K Words Of Nothing But Babble About Clothes, Ryuji I'm Sorry, Ryuji Has No Luck With The Clothes, Ryuji Is Surrounded By Traitors And Asshole-Kindred Souls, Ryuji Wants To Rage Quit, Akechi Ogling Akira One Too Many Times, Akechi Is A Model (Not A Detective Prince AU).**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

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"We're going back in," Ryuji had said.

Both he and Akira had gone back in to that strange castle with the strange suit-clad, talking cat, using that strange phone app.

And that was when things went downhill.

Ryuji screamed as he looked down at himself; why the _ever loving fuck_ was he wearing a _bikini_?!

He whipped his head to the side to take a look at Akira and see if he too was wearing a bikini.

He wasn't.

"And why are _you_ wearing a _maid outfit_?"

Akira merely shrugged as his eyes roved up and down Ryuji's body, causing Ryuji to wrap his arms around himself and snap with a blush on his face, "H-hey! Where do you think you're looking?!"

"I'm looking at you," Akira responded blandly, and Ryuji bristled.

"Don't just say things like that!"

"Like what?" Akira cocked his head to the side.

Ryuji made a strangled sound at the back of his throat and contemplated screaming again; it was very tempting.

When Ryuji thought the situation couldn't get any worse, _it got worse_.

"Quiet down!" A new voice snapped at him from the direction of one of the alleyways, "Do you want the Shadows to hear you?"

Both Akira and Ryuji turned to look in the direction of the voice, only to see-

Oh, boy.

 _Hoo, boy._

There, standing in a short summer dress with a very low cut at the front, was none other than Akechi Goro, Ann's fellow model, with an impressive frown on his face twisting his pink-painted lips, and a hand propped on his hip.

Well, fuck.

.

Awakening to a Persona was nice and all, but did his outfit have to change again?

At least this time it wasn't something as uncomfortable as a bikini, even if it was Shujin's girl uniform. Akira himself was out of the maid outfit and in some sort of weird female punishment cop get-up. An outfit that Akechi, in his own backless, party dress with a slit going up one of its sides, was resolutely avoiding staring at, face aflame in an impressive blush.

Heck, even the cat was in a kimono now.

"What is going on here? What is this place? And Ryuji? Is that you?" Ryuji heard Ann's voice from behind him and inwardly cursed.

.

" _Why_! Why does Ann get the best outfit right off the bat while I'm stuck with- with- _THIS_!" Ryuji gestured to his outfit, a corset with a flowing skirt and a pair of glittery heels, as he stared at Ann, who was wearing a pair of combat boots, ripped jeans, a plain white top and biker jacket with a pair of fingerless leather gloves.

"I must admit that I am envious as well," Akechi muttered as smoothed a hand down his feminine Greek dress.

"You look gorgeous, Lady Ann." Morgana sighed, seemingly not caring about his own maid outfit.

Meanwhile, Akira didn't seem to care that he was in a bikini with a sheer sash wrapped around his waist.

For once, Akechi wasn't ogling hi- oh, wait, Ryuji had spoken too soon, there went the Daily Ogling.

Ann tugged at her gloves, "I like it."

.

Ryuji would like to say that he got used to the random outfit changes, but sadly, he hadn't.

At least he was no longer screaming when he ended up in something very revealing.

Like now, going into Madarame's Palace with Yusuke on their team for the first time, wearing what basically amounted to bikini armor.

Next to him was Yusuke, who didn't pay much attention to his skimpy ninja outfit and was focused on Ann, in her long, bellowing witch robes and witch hat, with Morgana next to her dressed to look like a demon appearing like he was an accessory for her.

Behind them was Akira dressed like a sexy witch, with Akechi dressed like an angel and, as always, ogling Akira.

Ryuji was not surprised.

.

"What is this?" Makoto wondered, observing her butler outfit.

"This is hell," Akechi intoned as he stood next to her in a matching maid outfit.

"Well, I can't exactly deny that." Ryuji sighed as he looked down at his leather dominatrix outfit.

"Personally," Yusuke started, tracing the patterns on the long sleeve of the very short kimono he was wearing, "I like the constant change, it provides wonderful stimulation."

"Wonderful stimulation?" Ann repeated, looking amused while she stood there in her business dress suit.

"Do I want to know?" Morgana muttered as he trudged to stand next to Ryuji, one paw fiddling with the trailing scarf attached to his puffed dress.

"Yes." Yusuke nodded before he gestured broadly in Akira's direction, "Just look at him."

Ryuji grumbled, "I don't need to look at him."

"You don't have to do that, Yusuke, everyone knows Akechi-senpai is always staring at Akira."

"I am not!" Akechi denied, but he was a filthy, _filthy_ liar, and his eyes were glued to Akira's form.

"Why is Kurusu-kun wearing a wedding dress?" Makoto asked, confused.

Ryuji made a strangled sound, "It's not like we can pick what we end up wearing."

"I have this feeling," Akechi ground out, "That somehow, someway, Kurusu is picking what he ends up wearing."

That, Ryuji had no trouble believing.

.

"Wish I could operate a camera in the Metaverse," Futaba lamented as she observed the group around her standing around in Okumura's Palace in a variety of interesting outfits. She herself was wearing a moogle bodysuit.

"God, no, don't." Ryuji sighed in defeat as he fiddled with the low cut of his cocktail dress, lamenting the slits going up both of its sides. But hey, at least he was wearing fishnets underneath. It was better than nothing.

"Agreed." Akechi, the kindred soul (even though he was an asshole), nodded, staring balefully down his skimpy nurse outfit.

"Uh. I agree as well." Morgana, another asshole-kindred spirit combination in the team, huffed in annoyance, putting his paws on his hips. Ryuji figured the catsuit he was wearing wasn't comfortable.

(Heh. _Catsuit_. He smothered a snort, and Morgana glared at him.)

"I won't mind taking pictures." Ann's eyes sparkled. Of course she wouldn't mind, she had the best luck with outfits and Ryuji wondered how she did it. At the moment, she was dressed in a pair of pants, a waist coat, and a long over coat paired with heels and bright red gloves. Ryuji would kill to wear that (but without the heels, he wasn't insane).

"Well… I guess?" Makoto looked conflicted, and Ryuji figured she didn't know what to think about her pirate outfit.

"It would make for great reference photos." Yusuke looked deep in thought, hands itching to get his sketch book out.

"Maybe if we switch, Kitagawa-kun." Akechi smiled sickeningly sweet at Yusuke, and yeah, he definitely wanted to wear the ridiculous princely get-up Yusuke was wearing at the moment.

"Immortalize the moment, as it were." Akira interjected.

"Not while you're wearing that sexy bunny outfit, we won't be taking any pictures." Ryuji crossed his arms.

Akira merely cocked his hip to the side and sent him a wink. Asshole. Why was Ryuji friends with him again?

.

Maybe. Maybe. _Maybe_ wearing just an open shirt and briefs was better than anything else he ever wore in the Metaverse. _Combined_.

Ryuji had long since resigned himself to a fate full of a rotating, cursed wardrobe at the mercy of a cognitive world.

"My, oh my." Haru blinked at them all from under the brim of her wide hat. Damn, why did she get to look so badass in a pair of simple pants, a pink shirt with puffy sleeves, a wide belt across her hips and boots? "You all look gorgeous."

"Th-thank you," Makoto stuttered, her glowing blush matching the red of the suit jacket draped over her loose shirt and pants.

"You're flattering us, senpai." Ann chuckled as she fiddled with one of her pigtails, clearly feeling awkward in her cowboy outfit.

Akechi was off to the side, face buried in his hands and radiating displeasure as he looked like someone pulled him out of Sailor Moon's magical girl cast. Next to him was Futaba, posing dramatically in her Phoenix Ranger Featherman R outfit and further fueling his despair, that Phoenix Ranger fanboy.

Morgana, the traitor, was basically flaunting his cat-sized Shujin boy uniform. Another traitor was Yusuke, dressed in Ryuji's casual wear out of the Metaverse. And boy did Ryuji want to throw a tantrum over that fact.

And not to forget the greatest traitor of them all, the group's esteemed leader, Kurusu Akira, leaning against a wall with one foot bracing him against the wall, and dressed in a belly dancer's outfit.

Sometimes, Ryuji wanted to rage quit, but he'd been going too long for that.

Besides, that was what friends who were just like family for: frustrate him to the ends of the world and back.

"Ready?" Akira called out, and the group stood at attention, "Let's go, we have a Heart to steal."

.

End


End file.
